For
the third essay assignment of rewriting one of our previous papers, I have
chosen to redo my first essay, the advertisement analysis one. I feel
like it has a lot of potential to become a good piece of writing, with a strong
thesis and well thought out ideas. I really enjoyed the writing process the
first time around. Picking out the different aspects of the advertisement was a
fun way to refine my attention to detail, and it was nice to play with the
creative side of essay writing. I think that going into it a second time with
an open mind will allow me to develop more cohesive thoughts and turn them into
an interesting and accurate analysis.
My first step in the revising and rewriting
process is to attack and refresh my thesis statement, making it more about the authenticity
of the advertisement and the product it is selling, as was suggested. I think
that will be a good starting point in establishing my topic. The new thesis
will help me with my outline, which I am going to draw up before I start
rewriting. I want to elaborate more on certain points in my body paragraphs,
such as the lack of slogan, and the goose bumps on the model, as well as add
some new ones, like how having the name of the company adds to the credibility
of the advertisement. I want the essay to be an entertaining read for my
audience, but I also want it to make an accurate argument about the advertisement
itself and what exactly the company is trying to sell with it. I want to go
beyond the black and white surface view that any casual observer will see and
find and explore the gray areas of the story that the advertisement is trying
to tell.
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